I'll be there for you...

So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your jobs a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.

It's like you're always stuck in second gear
And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,
or even your year
but..

I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
'Cuz you're there for me too...

You're still in bed at ten
And work began at eight
You've burned your breakfast
So far... things are goin' great

Your mother warned you there'd be days like these
Oh but she didn't tell you when the world has brought
You down to your knees that...

I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
'Cuz you're there for me too...

No one could ever know me
No one could ever see me
Seems you're the only one who knows
What it's like to be me
Someone to face the day with
Make it through all the rest with
Someone I'll always laugh with
Even at my worst I'm best with you, yeah

It's like you're always stuck in second gear
And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,
or even your year...

I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
'Cuz you're there for me too...

I'll be there for you
I'll be there for you
I'll be there for you
'Cuz you're there for me too...




Now, thats the theme song of the television show  F.R.I.E.N.D.S. You must have heard it before...


I want to dedicate this song to some of my friends, both old and new; before the year ends, to let you know that I am grateful that you people exist, I appreciate your presence in my life and I'll be there for you too...


Some of my friends to whom I want to dedicate this song necessarily are: Rupali, Hanu, Siddharth, Ashish Sir, Aanchal, Shanky, Ankit, Richa, Deepika and Aasim.

Christmas Presents

Lately, I have cut down all my links to the outer world. Temporarily, I have given up on socializing, both in the real and virtual worlds. Though I am sure, this phase is temporary, I am also sure it might last longer than I expect it to be. With too many opinions floating around, things have started to become a little difficult for me. I haven't learnt to cope with them yet. Looks like I am still brand new.

With Christmas just around the corner, I am totally in the Christmas spirit and ready with Christmas presents for everyone. In fact, I have already given away to most of them.
The most important one was: forgiveness. The present for the people who did something bad to me in the year gone by. Somethings are better given away then with held. So, I chose to give it away and let go of many bad memories which I do not want to take with me into the next year. Because the gift was to be given to all those people who were bad or mean to me, I had to accept to gift too. The most difficult task I have ever done in my life was just this: Forgiving myself. But, this done, shoulders feel less burdened and heart a lot lighter. I was even singing this morning, and that too after a long gap of about 7 months. A real big deal!

For all my friends, I have Love. I am proud to say that I have always had it in abundance in my heart for my friends. They mean a lot to me. So, its just a renewal of my vow this Christmas.

And not to forget myself, I have Self-respect as my Christmas present for me. We often compromise on it in our life, in various situations and Christmas is a wonderful time to give it back to ourselves. A little act of kindness to somebody is enough to get it back. This is what I am going do.

This has come as an afterthought. There are people in our lives whom we cannot really love because they are not friends but we cannot hate them because they are not enemies either. They are just acquaintances. For these people, I have trust: a present I have held too close to me for too long.

These are of the few steps I need to take this year to go happily into the next one. I want to take no bad lessons into next year. All that I want to take along with me is lots of love and some innocence.

A lesson I learnt...

There is this line I came across a few minutes back.
"A baby is born with the need to be loved and never outgrows it."

We all want to be loved and be cared for. It is an inbuilt need of every human heart. The biggest disease in the world is to feel being not needed.
So, when a heart is expecting love, rejection hurts. It may be from a parent, a teacher, a sibling, a friend or a lover. Immaterial to what a relationship is, when it matters to a person, rejection obviously hurts.
When you love, and it is not returned, it hurts. And when it happens to a person pretty early in life, he accepts it as a reality of the world, a reality of life. But, this certainly is not the truth.
We are beautiful creatures of God who deserve to be loved.
I have learnt from personal experience and not from a manual on "how to live your life well", that does not matter if someone else cares or not; what matters is if you do or not.
But, this not what I want to talk about here. I want to share a perspective that I developed over time, about one such situation.

I made some friends a few months ago. I felt that they were the best people I had ever met. I could go on and on for hours, if I sat to praise these people. To me they were faultless, perfect people. It continued for until 3 months ago, and then I realized that they were totally human. And realizing this was a terrible experience. I am still friends with some of them, but others are not in my life anymore. Not getting into details of how this rejection came about, but still I was rejected from this group and it HURT.
But, what I realized was that it was God's way to give me a lesson.
The lesson was that, we are dealing with HUMANS here. And, we cannot determine what the other person feels about us, whatever proximity or affinity we happen to share with them. But, we can always decide what we want. We can always decide how we want to be treated. People are just a medium to give away love. And they cannot make you feel it until you want to feel it yourself and neither can somebody make you feel bad or rejected, until you want to do it yourself. If you want to be loved, then you should have faith that it is available in abundance in this world. Its just that the person you are expecting it from does not choose to be a medium of that ubiquitous love. Keep looking, it is just on its way.
Each one of us has to feel responsible for our own lives. We cannot let people who make us feel bad or rejected stay in our lives. It is a masochistic act to keep them in your life.
That is exactly what I did. Though I kept inflicting pain on myself in the beginning thinking about what I had lost until yesterday. But, then I realized that you don't loose a thing until you have yourself. And, fortunately, I still do have myself.
P.S. Though this might sound very stupid, weird, narcissistic and selfish. It might also sound like a "grapes are sour" reaction; but I really think that all the hurt that I felt, was not even worth it. I really have not lost a thing in comparison to what I have found. I have found a treasure of friendship, though I realized it a little late. And, I am lucky to be out of the group now.
If I was ever offered to be the group again, will I join it? No. I deserve better.

Facing my "Reality"

Networking sites these days are pretty popular among youngsters and I am no exception.
I happened to join Facebook a few days ago and happened to find an old friend there.
Now, this friend is no ordinary friend. He was my first crush and the infatuation/love/attraction has happened to last longer than expected. I have thought of the guy, have written poems for him, etc. when he has almost no clue about me even liking him. Almost half a decade has gone by since the first time I saw this guy and fell in love with him. It was first sight love, at least I like to believe that.
I was in love with everything he did: be it the way he shook hands with me on his birthday or the way he shook his head to mock an essay I wrote. Be it the way he talked so much or be it the way he danced to his favorite music.  I loved him, everything he did; his choice of music, games or any other activity.
Without getting into further insignificant details, it was like I was in love with am image and a face. I was in love with an ILLUSION.
We were in the same class for three years, and then I left the school. Later my friends told me about how he had started smoking, drinking and that he now kept bad company. I refused to believe any of it. But now, after seven and a half years, I happened to see his pics on Facebook and saw him with a cigarette in his hand and smoke coming out of his nose instead of his mouth. He is now a chain smoker.
Did this "reality" hurt? Yes.
Did the illusion feel better? Yes.
I have nothing to do with this guy now. I will probably never see him again, despite that this reality hurt.
Similarly, in life there a lot of "realities" that hurt and still lack any significance what so ever.
My point here is that, we are here in this world not to face realities but to create realities. In this world, where there is no absolute truth, I believe in creating and living my own realities and truth. It feels better and it keeps me happy. So why face realities? Even in this case, I will still choose to be in love the guy I previously thought he was because then I can hope that some day, I will meet a man who will fit into it perfectly.
The greatest gift to a man from God is "free will". Everyone has the power to makes choices, but then there are consequences. I would rather believe an inconsequential lie and stay happy than face a "reality" and subject myself to despair. I know its not smart, but thats the way I choose to be.
The one thing I can never live without is hope. If a lie would keep me hoping, I would rather just believe the lie.
Thats my way of staying happy. :-)